Women’s voices must be heard. ( #Metoo movement)

I am very frustrated that I must write this piece on a very horrific incident. First off, I must give my deepest condolences to all the women that had to endure the pain and suffering of a man with sick motives.  It makes me sick to my stomach when I think of all these bright women with promising futures; while having to of dealt with this disgusting human to reach their goals.


Every woman that cares about the safety of our futures must speak up and act. We need to realize that we are not safe in any circumstance. By no means does that mean I don’t want men encouraging this positive movement as well; I think men standing with us in this dark time is beautiful. But, in most cases, us as women are being looked down upon. This includes in sports, the workforce, and in daily life. As a young woman myself, I felt liberated to see all these powerful women standing up to their abuser.


I want to thank all the US gymnast’s and other women who came forward about this circumstance.  They’re starting a movement. A movement that will prove to Larry Nassar and all other men in power, that we do have voices.


Quite frankly, that we aren’t afraid to use.


The most disgusting part of this whole story- is the fact that many people wanted the victims to be silenced. There are allegations that the US gymnastics organization, as well as Michigan State University, were deeply involved in this. They didn’t want this to ruin their reputation.  It is quite appalling that they tried to protect themselves from a matter as serious as this. Actual women, who suffered abuse for years; yet all they seemed to care about was themselves.


This case fascinated me more than most. I watched all the girl‚Äôs testimonies that were available on the internet, as well as all their articles provided on different media outlets. ¬†I applaud all these women that could fierce fully look their abuser in the eye and state, ‚ÄúI didn‚Äôt let this end my life.‚ÄĚ

I was instantly liberated after hearing those words.


I hope this inspired many other women and men to recognize the ongoing issue in this society. When something goes terribly wrong: we push it under the rug until it dissipates. This is not the way I will live my life; It is also not the way that many others will live theirs.


Technically speaking, we finally have given the victims a chance to speak. It took years to get this evidence to the surface, (due to higher powers pushing it under the rug like I stated before) and I hope we never make this terrible mistake ever again.


Parents and trusted adult’s need to reciprocate: always listen to your children and young adults when they come to you with confidential information.  This is what is going to save our society from making this mistake again. We need to address the problem and stand together right away.


This was another reason why these girls did not receive justice earlier on.


I know my thoughts have been scattered throughout this train of thought, but I want to make one thing clear. Sadly, I know this has happened to many women and they have not come forward for whatever reason. Most of the time, because they are afraid nobody will believe them. Or, in fear that because it happened so long ago that it is not ‚Äúvalid.‚ÄĚ You deserve justice just as much as anybody else does. I hope these girls, (and people like myself who stand with them) can inspire may others to come forward about sexual abuse.


If we stand together, we stand a chance.

The Truth About My Heartbreak.

I can honestly admit I don’t even know where to start this post.

For days my thoughts have been flowing in and out of my never-ending, wandering mind. My heart has been over powered  with such love. But coinciding with this love; is grief. A chapter in my life has came to an ending point.

Luckily, I have used my heartbreak to inspire me in so many areas of my life.

Flash back to a week ago. I thought the day I rose from my well-rested night, that it would just be like any other day. I was ignoring all of the signs I was receiving from you, quite frankly, from the beginning of our relationship. You made me believe that you loved me. 

I should of listened to all the other surrounding voices invading my mind, telling me that you were toxic for me. I didn’t want to believe the true signs that you gave me constantly. As they all say; love is blind.¬† From the start you took advantage of my love. I forgave you for any and every mistake that you made. After all, that is what love is about right? I stayed with you through anything. I was inevitably infatuated with your every move. I craved your presence in every aspect of my entire life. But in the midst of all the outrage, we did share happy moments.

I adored you. The way that I looked at you was different. Everybody could see it. They were all terrified. They knew that soon the two simple words spewing from your mouth time and time again, would break me into a million pieces. Oh if I only knew the words “It’s over”, felt like a million daggers deranged into my chest, I would’ve ran from the start. You were inescapable.

It was as if I was underneath your spell. I wanted to believe that you would not take advantage of my love. But it turns out you are no different then the last guy. The one that left me in the same exact way. If I could’ve only of seen the writing on the wall. If I could’ve seen the mess you left me. The truth of it all is, I still would’ve risked the pain to admire the great memories we created together.

All of the dates we spent admiring each others acquaintance. The laughs intertwined in our deep conversions about the universe, politics, and religion. The love we shared was undeniable. We shared a deeper connection than what the average person finds at this young of an age. You put up with my favorite movies, constant Taylor Swift album marathons, and my crazy obsession with glitter. The list goes on and on, but I wont bore you any more than what I already have. Moral of the story is, we had something. Something that will be engraved into my mind until the end of time. You left an impression on me that will never be forgotten.

Flash through eight months, and here I am writing you this post. I honestly think it will help me move on from this terrible rut I have been enduring. I am ready to move on from this stage in my life. I knew a different version of you and it wasn’t the one you are now. Its hard to believe that same person would’ve left me with no remorse. You watched me sob and you had the nerve to just say, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel anything anymore.” I begged and pleaded for you to stay. But I’m smarter than that. The right person won’t have to even question being with me.

So, thank you. Thank you for breaking me into a million pieces. It has helped me figured out the signs to watch out for. It also will strengthen my future relationships. Thank you for showing me what my true worth is, because trust me, I deserved more than the person you really were. I deserve the world. I wish you the best with your life and I hope and pray that someday down the road, we can meet as strangers once again. I hope that we both accomplish our hopes and dreams. But most importantly, I hope you find the person who you’re meant to be with. As I hope the same for myself.

I hope that you got exactly what you wanted out of me. I will no longer be used as just somebody sitting on your back burner. I deserve much more than that. On the other hand, I wish you all the best and through out this mess, I still love you more than words can express.

You will forever hold a special place in my heart, mind, and soul. 

Samples from: “Sunset Skies and Dimly Lit Nights.” An original poetry book.

Broken bones.”

He graced me with a perfect smile upon his face
As he placed the most magical kiss lips can taste
Mending all of my broken bones together
His presence couldn’t be detained by any weather
All of the bullet wounds surrounding my heart
Reminding me of the way I fell apart
Love will send your mind spiraling in the dark hours of the night
Reminiscing on all of the times you had to put up a fight
Demanding for him to stay
Yet all they tend to do is begin to run away
That is why our magnificent kiss haunts me in my dreams
Sadly love never is the way it seems
As much as I hoped this time would be different
I know deep in my core that it isn’t
I watch as the spot in my driveway remains empty
As you continue to love on plenty
Leaving them wondering deeply in their souls
Why their minds were left souring from their control
They fell for your same tricks
That you applied just as smoothly as the kiss you placed upon my lips
I knew I should of ran from the start
My mother always told me I was smart
I still am baffled in the way you managed to get under my skin
Why do people like you always have to win?
But I have learned my lesson this time around
As the scars you left on me are no longer profound
I will soon be ready to love again
As I no longer view my broken bones as a sin.


Sunflower garden.”

My soul is an alluring garden of sunflowers
Yet people never stopped to ask about the April showers.
Capturing eyes of many of they walked through the rows of my captivating heart
I wasn’t always perceived as such art.
Each divine flower representing all the times I fell down
But the thunderstorms that over came me never caused me to drown.
I rose up from the ground
As the soil surrounding me nourished me without making a sound

Soon, you wondered in.

You viewed me as remarkably beautiful
Made me believe I was proudly unmovable
I am, because I have been growing and learning for quite some time.
With love and hurt of all various kinds.
I began to realize my roots grow ever deeply in all the things that I love
Leaving me with the only apparent conclusion of growing from the ground up
I never understood why my bright and fascinating views were never enough
And if you try to disagree with me, I will call it a bluff.
You were soon the only one to stop and smell my fragrant petals
I was never used to being enough to settle
You provided me with bountiful amounts of light
You knew my life wasn’t always this bright

So, I thank you for taking a closer look
For things never are an open book

You nurtured me with light rains
Instilling the lost love deeply into my veins
As for my past lovers
They remain blinded to the fact that I needed to be discovered
They walk through various gardens
Never realizing the ground below them constantly hardens
They thought I was perfectly capable of repairing myself
Never understanding one can never completely nourish itself
I take months to achieve my full potential
But constant care is essential
I thank you for providing me with all of my needs
You knew I needed to be tended after you planted my seeds
I see you wandering through my garden quite often
My petals remarkably began to soften
The possibilities remain to be endless
My garden appears to be much more tremendous
Reminding me to always stop and smell the flowers
For the best things are not created in small hours
You have helped me progress in every way
I hope my garden is fascinating enough to make you want to stay.




The day my world stood still.


“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.”- Confucius

Unlike many other pieces that I have published for my blog, this one took more than a week to process. As a writer, I am very grateful that I have a way of putting many of the vast thoughts that cross my mind, into something good for myself and others. Although, it is truly breaking my heart every time I re-visit this day In my mind.¬† But on the other hand, this has made me grow into an even stronger person altogether. The statement, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, remains true in my current circumstance.

It was a normal Sunday morning, as I awoke the morning of my car accident. I sat down in the morning and did my regular routine of jamming to current Taylor swift, applying my makeup, and strutting around in my romper and heels. I was heading into town for an innocent trip to the mall, getting lunch, and enjoying a day to myself.  As I gathered my purse and other miscellaneous items, I kissed my mom and told her I loved her as I walked out the door. As she would say to me every day after this incident took place, she had felt in the deep core of her gut that something horrific was to occur that day. Instead, she let me go, thinking that her motherly instincts were just flaring because this was my first trip driving alone. Little did I know, a mother is never wrong. Strangely enough, she had been right about what was to happen that day.

My drive to the mall had gone very smoothly, and I had felt very confident In myself. I enjoyed my day as I walked around the mall, grabbed food, and some new clothes that were (and still are thank god ) going to be used for my senior photos.  On my way back home, I felt as if my day had gone spectacular. I felt as if I had accomplished something very big in my eyes, seeming this was my first time driving alone in a moderately busy city.  Soon enough, my day was turned upside down. As I experienced the worst day of my entire life. All alone.

As I turned onto a busy highway, my wandering mind soon got me into a predicament that I always told people was my worst nightmare. Although I would not like to get into specific details, the last thing I remember was pulling off on the side of the road, on one of the¬†most booming¬†highways in Michigan. The next thing I know, I¬†was siting in a ditch. I look down and see glass shatters surrounding my passenger seat, my windshield completely shattered, and my driver side door completely touching me. I look into the mirror that sat above me, and watched blood run down my cheek.¬†I then¬†realize, my ¬†brand new car that I had not even had for more than a month, was destroyed before my very eyes. I was so confused in that moment, as I tried to recuperate myself. The next thing I know, a man has walked over and is tapping on my window that is destroyed as well, and asks me if I am okay. I reply with, “Yes I am okay.” After that much impact, I am very surprised that I had given the lovely couple that had hit me, both of my parents numbers from the back of my mind. After their phone call to my parents, they had helped me stumble out of my car. I remember everybody looking at me in shock and disbelief. I had just survived not only the accident, but with almost no scratches to my exposed body. No broken bones, a couple small bruises, and a mark from my seatbelt was all that was left on me after the impact. As I reflected in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, I didn’t know how I could be so lucky. To this day, I still can’t put my finger quite on it.

As my romper is being cut into shreds, heels are taken off my feet, doctors shining lights into my eyes, and of course the endless questions that come along with a patient that has just been through this trauma; millions of thoughts continued to go through my mind. I held back my tears that wanted to go streaming down my face, and instead focused on the good things that had graced me that day. I was okay, and that will always be the most important part of this. This means that my wonderful parents, my boyfriend, my siblings, and my family and friends would not have to deal with the burden of losing me. Suddenly, my mind began to wander even more. The most prominent thought continues to be, it really is true; your life can be taken from you at any moment.  The emotions came flooding in as they released me thirty minutes later. The ride home from the hospital, I reevaluated my entire life. This is the greatest way I can place my thoughts and apprehensions into words.

This life we¬† are ¬†given is never promised to us.¬† Your life can be taken any day, and at any moment. Before my accident, there were countless family¬† members and friends that I didn’t have a close to perfect relationship with, due to the fact that people are quite frankly, not remembering this concept. I had stopped talking to one of my best friends, about a month prior. I didn’t have the greatest relationship with my parents, or even my siblings at that. After this, I realized that I would’ve had to live with that burden, and they would’ve had to as well. Do not hold stupid grudges, it is never worth it. Repair your relationships and friendships as much as you can. Always tell your loved ones how much you care about them, and your true genuine feelings. I cannot stress this enough. On the other hand, appreciate everything life has to offer you. After this day, I learned to appreciate the little things in life so much more. I had begun to realize all the things I have in life I should be grateful for. I have so many great people, things, and an amazing future to continue to work towards. I have reached for my goals even more, continued to write more, and broaden my horizons in every aspect. I have not only learned to live a whole new life, but also spread my teachings to others.

I now rise early every morning, smiling. I am smiling because I know I was given another chance to live life. I continue to surround myself with my loved ones, and I cherish the thought of getting to spend the rest of my life repairing, and blossoming different aspects of my life. I get to continue to listen to the beloved Taylor swift as I do my makeup, watch my favorite movies, eat my favorite foods, learn new things, travel more, and of course learn and grow in my own personal ways. They might sound like little things to you, but I am forever grateful for everything in life that as made me who and what I am. I got a chance to live a brand new life, and I will never let that go for the world.

To the one, who completes me.

There comes a day where you decide to slowly move on. You let the people of the past whom you’ve loved, ¬†reconcile in your dreams. They slowly disappear from your life, leaving you with not a single soul but yourself. You soon venture out into the universe, in search of somebody that makes your life light up the way you have never discovered before.

This timeline for me, was months upon months. I was in desperate of somebody to pay me the love I thought I deserved. Of course as stubborn as I come off, that person never seemed to appear in the moments that I was most desperate. I was in need of somebody that would explore my soul, not my body. I wanted to be loved. Truly, loved. I wanted somebody that found the night sky in my eyes. Somebody that would take their personal time, to figure out my quirks that make up me as a person. Somebody to discuss my abstract thoughts as I lay awake at 3 a.m. I craved somebody that was adventurous, and would coincide with me across the world if I had asked.

The higher your standards become the harder it becomes to fill the deep void in your heart as the thought of it still lingers. The longer I waited, the longer I realized the person that I was seeking out to find; would take time and patience.

The person whom you are seeking- will come with time. I know, because I found that person.

You will find the one who will stay up until 3 a.m,  just to make sure your smile is not lost within your dismantled thoughts and wonders. You will start to realize that upon the arrival of your significant other- was the time that you took to fix your bullet wounds that were shot into your heart. This is not done by any lover, but within your own mind, body, and soul.

This person wont have to fix you, but instead complement your beautiful mess of a human being. They will accept your flaws and love you for the personality and exterior traits that make up the most gorgeous version of yourself. You will start to see that all of the built up mistakes of your past that lead you straight down your path, happened in such delicate way so they could find you at the right time. They would drive hours to just bring that sparkle into your eyes that could light up the night sky.

They will learn that you only drink your coffee with two creamers and two sugars. They will adorably sing all of your cherished favorite songs.  They will take all of your flaws into consideration. Trust me, they will put them all aside just to be with you. Suddenly, all of the movies you spent watching alone, will be joined with somebody who cares deeply about the things that makes you happy. They will cherish everything that makes you the person you are.

This person only comes once in a lifetime. Don’t lose them. You see, many people face the consequence of starting over with love many different times in their life. But,¬†this one wont be like any other person you have ever encountered.¬†They will grace your life with such a presence that it will send the flames in your heart racing; as they fix up all the bullet wounds that destroyed your former self.

That’s what he did for me.

The storms that surpassed me in¬†memories, were now beautiful turquoise sky’s. I didn’t hurt anymore. The roses that embellished my heart and soul, dead and diminished; were now the most gorgeous garden I have ever seen. Bright and alluring, surrounding every aspect in my life. He gave me life again. A life that I want to live forever.

Now, I want to cherish every passing second with him. Even though we live completely separate lives, with different realities, we have found time to collide within our passing hours. I find myself getting lost every time we are together. Lost in the thought of what we are. Lost in the thought, of what we will be.

Will we always be together?

Only time can tell. But, I wouldn’t want it to be any other way then¬†discovering life with him.

You see, I have never enjoyed somebody’s company so much. We talk as if we haven’t run out of subjects. He makes me laugh. He makes me forget about every wondering thought that keeps me up in the dark hours of the night. We now share coffee every Saturday and ponder about deep thoughts:¬†our thoughts on politics, religion, and much, more. The more¬†I picked apart his brain, the more I realized he was one of a kind.

Even the most innocent activities, have a special importance to them. Our souls matched up as if they were made to collide at the exact moment that did. The moment we both needed each other the most. I never want this feeling to end. A void in my heart is filled with such love, a love that is real. I will continue to get lost in the galaxies I found in his eyes.

I will, because he completes me.





To the one who didn’t love me enough to stay.

I told you that I didn’t care the day you ended it between us. I told everybody else that I didn’t let you phase me. I thought this enchanting feeling that overwhelmed me every time we were together was something that could easily be replaced with an acquaintance who would give me proper admiration. The more I¬†tried forgetting the memories we compiled, the more I realized you never left my mind. I realized the more I convinced everybody I had forgotten, I found the person I was supposed to hate, accumulating every space of my existence. That was when I realized that we, as people, talk about the things we hate the most. We don’t realize that we are doing it. In the end, the things that we hate the most ¬†are the things we care most about. The things we let destroy us at¬†three in the morning while we toss and turn in our wits, and wonder why we weren’t enough, are the things that intellectually have control over us.

As spring turned to summer, and summer turned to fall, I found myself outside watching the crisp autumn leaves fall and I sat and wondered why I wasn’t enough. I played back the first time your smile encountered mine. Did you find someone with a more stunning smile than mine? ¬†Did I say something wrong when the first words escaped my mouth? I pictured the outfit I was wearing. I remembered the way I radiated, as my confidence¬†beamed from my smile. I was always told my smile could light up an entire room. But, why couldn’t I light up yours? The more and more¬†I pondered each question, the more I realized ¬†no response amounted from them. The question that hurt me the most, was why you left me with the burden of figuring out these accusations. The truth was, you didn’t care if I did or not. You left with the intentions of leaving me, wondering why I wasn’t enough. As the fall leaves slowly disappeared, I found myself watching the snow flakes fall as they assembled perfectly in my vision. I realized every time I saw a new season, that you hadn’t gone away as time continued on. Time was redeemed as frozen in my mind, yet the world carried on. I look over at the television that played my favorite movies, the ones you said you didn’t care enough to watch with me. Not long after, my room begins to flood with my favorite songs; The ones you would turn off to instead play yours. Why were my interests never enough for you? That grin of yours was enough for me to forget the most important things that accompanied my own mind. Instead, I believed you. I loved you enough to replace your likings with mine. Soon enough, we watched your favorite films, and my music was replaced with yours. As time went on, my calls and texts were ignored and I should have realized you had intentions of leaving me the way you did all along.

I remembered all of the fun times we had together. Did you think about them the same way that I did? As days turned into months and months turned into years, the same questions seemed to repeat themselves. Those questions remain with still no response. I flash back to the deep conversations we shared as we discussed our pasts over dinner. I thought of all the times I went out of my way to see your eyes light up the way I once saw them. Yet, you never did the same for me. The more I found myself in thought,¬†a new season passed and I¬†watched the leaves drift across the firm grass. Here was another year that left me wondering what I could have done to save us. I began to dwell on the past we once had. The older I became, the wiser my thoughts became. I found myself discussing you over dinner with my family ¬†and they told me to just forget about the lovely times we once shared. The difference between me and you, was I couldn’t seem to forget about you the way you did me. It crushed me knowing I left the person who mattered to me the most and it left me searching for a conclusion. I was left wondering why I couldn’t satisfy the needs¬†that you desired. It seems that was always the difference between you and me.

I found myself the following year bringing you up to mutual friends, and I could never bring myself to wish bad upon you. I knew that I was respected enough as a person to not ruin things over your cruel behaviors. But, I still wonder was it cruelty or just that you were inconsiderate. ¬†As time continued on, it didn’t seem to matter. You had long forgotten the experiences we shared together. That smile of mine that “lit up everybody’s room”, didn’t seem to have the same magical effect on you, just as it didn’t ¬†the previous three years. Maybe thinking ¬†I could change¬†us back to how we were before was¬†just silly. ¬†It seemed as if you found the same characteristics ¬†you loved in me in other people. Despite the memories we created, you seemed to find pleasantry in ¬†sharing those same things with anyone other than myself. ¬†To this day, I would never think anything but good thoughts when your name is brought up mutually or on accident. I know at some points, I¬†found myself defending you for your wrongs and occasionally drifting into further conversation, because I missed you.¬† That was the moment I knew, I could’ve never left you the way you left me.

Sadness overcomes me less and less, but the feeling you left me with lingers. I still think about you when one of the songs ¬†you once adored comes on. I find myself asking people how you are. I find myself worrying about you, when I know it isn’t my job anymore. I wish the best for you in any further relationship ¬†you decide to venture into. I hope that¬† one day you find the love ¬†you decided couldn’t be discovered in me in somebody else. More and more, I find myself thinking these things because I hope you don’t leave them the way you left me.

Wondering why they weren’t enough for you.