Women’s voices must be heard. ( #Metoo movement)

I am very frustrated that I must write this piece on a very horrific incident. First off, I must give my deepest condolences to all the women that had to endure the pain and suffering of a man with sick motives.  It makes me sick to my stomach when I think of all these bright women with promising futures; while having to of dealt with this disgusting human to reach their goals.

 

Every woman that cares about the safety of our futures must speak up and act. We need to realize that we are not safe in any circumstance. By no means does that mean I don’t want men encouraging this positive movement as well; I think men standing with us in this dark time is beautiful. But, in most cases, us as women are being looked down upon. This includes in sports, the workforce, and in daily life. As a young woman myself, I felt liberated to see all these powerful women standing up to their abuser.

 

I want to thank all the US gymnast’s and other women who came forward about this circumstance.  They’re starting a movement. A movement that will prove to Larry Nassar and all other men in power, that we do have voices.

 

Quite frankly, that we aren’t afraid to use.

 

The most disgusting part of this whole story- is the fact that many people wanted the victims to be silenced. There are allegations that the US gymnastics organization, as well as Michigan State University, were deeply involved in this. They didn’t want this to ruin their reputation.  It is quite appalling that they tried to protect themselves from a matter as serious as this. Actual women, who suffered abuse for years; yet all they seemed to care about was themselves.

 

This case fascinated me more than most. I watched all the girl’s testimonies that were available on the internet, as well as all their articles provided on different media outlets.  I applaud all these women that could fierce fully look their abuser in the eye and state, “I didn’t let this end my life.”

I was instantly liberated after hearing those words.

 

I hope this inspired many other women and men to recognize the ongoing issue in this society. When something goes terribly wrong: we push it under the rug until it dissipates. This is not the way I will live my life; It is also not the way that many others will live theirs.

 

Technically speaking, we finally have given the victims a chance to speak. It took years to get this evidence to the surface, (due to higher powers pushing it under the rug like I stated before) and I hope we never make this terrible mistake ever again.

 

Parents and trusted adult’s need to reciprocate: always listen to your children and young adults when they come to you with confidential information.  This is what is going to save our society from making this mistake again. We need to address the problem and stand together right away.

 

This was another reason why these girls did not receive justice earlier on.

 

I know my thoughts have been scattered throughout this train of thought, but I want to make one thing clear. Sadly, I know this has happened to many women and they have not come forward for whatever reason. Most of the time, because they are afraid nobody will believe them. Or, in fear that because it happened so long ago that it is not “valid.” You deserve justice just as much as anybody else does. I hope these girls, (and people like myself who stand with them) can inspire may others to come forward about sexual abuse.

 

If we stand together, we stand a chance.

The Truth About My Heartbreak.

I can honestly admit I don’t even know where to start this post.

For days my thoughts have been flowing in and out of my never-ending, wandering mind. My heart has been over powered  with such love. But coinciding with this love; is grief. A chapter in my life has came to an ending point.

Luckily, I have used my heartbreak to inspire me in so many areas of my life.

Flash back to a week ago. I thought the day I rose from my well-rested night, that it would just be like any other day. I was ignoring all of the signs I was receiving from you, quite frankly, from the beginning of our relationship. You made me believe that you loved me. 

I should of listened to all the other surrounding voices invading my mind, telling me that you were toxic for me. I didn’t want to believe the true signs that you gave me constantly. As they all say; love is blind.  From the start you took advantage of my love. I forgave you for any and every mistake that you made. After all, that is what love is about right? I stayed with you through anything. I was inevitably infatuated with your every move. I craved your presence in every aspect of my entire life. But in the midst of all the outrage, we did share happy moments.

I adored you. The way that I looked at you was different. Everybody could see it. They were all terrified. They knew that soon the two simple words spewing from your mouth time and time again, would break me into a million pieces. Oh if I only knew the words “It’s over”, felt like a million daggers deranged into my chest, I would’ve ran from the start. You were inescapable.

It was as if I was underneath your spell. I wanted to believe that you would not take advantage of my love. But it turns out you are no different then the last guy. The one that left me in the same exact way. If I could’ve only of seen the writing on the wall. If I could’ve seen the mess you left me. The truth of it all is, I still would’ve risked the pain to admire the great memories we created together.

All of the dates we spent admiring each others acquaintance. The laughs intertwined in our deep conversions about the universe, politics, and religion. The love we shared was undeniable. We shared a deeper connection than what the average person finds at this young of an age. You put up with my favorite movies, constant Taylor Swift album marathons, and my crazy obsession with glitter. The list goes on and on, but I wont bore you any more than what I already have. Moral of the story is, we had something. Something that will be engraved into my mind until the end of time. You left an impression on me that will never be forgotten.

Flash through eight months, and here I am writing you this post. I honestly think it will help me move on from this terrible rut I have been enduring. I am ready to move on from this stage in my life. I knew a different version of you and it wasn’t the one you are now. Its hard to believe that same person would’ve left me with no remorse. You watched me sob and you had the nerve to just say, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel anything anymore.” I begged and pleaded for you to stay. But I’m smarter than that. The right person won’t have to even question being with me.

So, thank you. Thank you for breaking me into a million pieces. It has helped me figured out the signs to watch out for. It also will strengthen my future relationships. Thank you for showing me what my true worth is, because trust me, I deserved more than the person you really were. I deserve the world. I wish you the best with your life and I hope and pray that someday down the road, we can meet as strangers once again. I hope that we both accomplish our hopes and dreams. But most importantly, I hope you find the person who you’re meant to be with. As I hope the same for myself.

I hope that you got exactly what you wanted out of me. I will no longer be used as just somebody sitting on your back burner. I deserve much more than that. On the other hand, I wish you all the best and through out this mess, I still love you more than words can express.

You will forever hold a special place in my heart, mind, and soul. 

Samples from: “Sunset Skies and Dimly Lit Nights.” An original poetry book.

Broken bones.”

He graced me with a perfect smile upon his face
As he placed the most magical kiss lips can taste
Mending all of my broken bones together
His presence couldn’t be detained by any weather
All of the bullet wounds surrounding my heart
Reminding me of the way I fell apart
Love will send your mind spiraling in the dark hours of the night
Reminiscing on all of the times you had to put up a fight
Demanding for him to stay
Yet all they tend to do is begin to run away
That is why our magnificent kiss haunts me in my dreams
Sadly love never is the way it seems
As much as I hoped this time would be different
I know deep in my core that it isn’t
I watch as the spot in my driveway remains empty
As you continue to love on plenty
Leaving them wondering deeply in their souls
Why their minds were left souring from their control
They fell for your same tricks
That you applied just as smoothly as the kiss you placed upon my lips
I knew I should of ran from the start
My mother always told me I was smart
I still am baffled in the way you managed to get under my skin
Why do people like you always have to win?
But I have learned my lesson this time around
As the scars you left on me are no longer profound
I will soon be ready to love again
As I no longer view my broken bones as a sin.

 

Sunflower garden.”

My soul is an alluring garden of sunflowers
Yet people never stopped to ask about the April showers.
Capturing eyes of many of they walked through the rows of my captivating heart
I wasn’t always perceived as such art.
Each divine flower representing all the times I fell down
But the thunderstorms that over came me never caused me to drown.
I rose up from the ground
As the soil surrounding me nourished me without making a sound

Soon, you wondered in.

You viewed me as remarkably beautiful
Made me believe I was proudly unmovable
I am, because I have been growing and learning for quite some time.
With love and hurt of all various kinds.
I began to realize my roots grow ever deeply in all the things that I love
Leaving me with the only apparent conclusion of growing from the ground up
I never understood why my bright and fascinating views were never enough
And if you try to disagree with me, I will call it a bluff.
You were soon the only one to stop and smell my fragrant petals
I was never used to being enough to settle
You provided me with bountiful amounts of light
You knew my life wasn’t always this bright

So, I thank you for taking a closer look
For things never are an open book

You nurtured me with light rains
Instilling the lost love deeply into my veins
As for my past lovers
They remain blinded to the fact that I needed to be discovered
They walk through various gardens
Never realizing the ground below them constantly hardens
They thought I was perfectly capable of repairing myself
Never understanding one can never completely nourish itself
I take months to achieve my full potential
But constant care is essential
I thank you for providing me with all of my needs
You knew I needed to be tended after you planted my seeds
I see you wandering through my garden quite often
My petals remarkably began to soften
The possibilities remain to be endless
My garden appears to be much more tremendous
Reminding me to always stop and smell the flowers
For the best things are not created in small hours
You have helped me progress in every way
I hope my garden is fascinating enough to make you want to stay.

 

 

 

The day my world stood still.

 

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.”- Confucius

Unlike many other pieces that I have published for my blog, this one took more than a week to process. As a writer, I am very grateful that I have a way of putting many of the vast thoughts that cross my mind, into something good for myself and others. Although, it is truly breaking my heart every time I re-visit this day In my mind.  But on the other hand, this has made me grow into an even stronger person altogether. The statement, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, remains true in my current circumstance.

It was a normal Sunday morning, as I awoke the morning of my car accident. I sat down in the morning and did my regular routine of jamming to current Taylor swift, applying my makeup, and strutting around in my romper and heels. I was heading into town for an innocent trip to the mall, getting lunch, and enjoying a day to myself.  As I gathered my purse and other miscellaneous items, I kissed my mom and told her I loved her as I walked out the door. As she would say to me every day after this incident took place, she had felt in the deep core of her gut that something horrific was to occur that day. Instead, she let me go, thinking that her motherly instincts were just flaring because this was my first trip driving alone. Little did I know, a mother is never wrong. Strangely enough, she had been right about what was to happen that day.

My drive to the mall had gone very smoothly, and I had felt very confident In myself. I enjoyed my day as I walked around the mall, grabbed food, and some new clothes that were (and still are thank god ) going to be used for my senior photos.  On my way back home, I felt as if my day had gone spectacular. I felt as if I had accomplished something very big in my eyes, seeming this was my first time driving alone in a moderately busy city.  Soon enough, my day was turned upside down. As I experienced the worst day of my entire life. All alone.

As I turned onto a busy highway, my wandering mind soon got me into a predicament that I always told people was my worst nightmare. Although I would not like to get into specific details, the last thing I remember was pulling off on the side of the road, on one of the most booming highways in Michigan. The next thing I know, I was siting in a ditch. I look down and see glass shatters surrounding my passenger seat, my windshield completely shattered, and my driver side door completely touching me. I look into the mirror that sat above me, and watched blood run down my cheek. I then realize, my  brand new car that I had not even had for more than a month, was destroyed before my very eyes. I was so confused in that moment, as I tried to recuperate myself. The next thing I know, a man has walked over and is tapping on my window that is destroyed as well, and asks me if I am okay. I reply with, “Yes I am okay.” After that much impact, I am very surprised that I had given the lovely couple that had hit me, both of my parents numbers from the back of my mind. After their phone call to my parents, they had helped me stumble out of my car. I remember everybody looking at me in shock and disbelief. I had just survived not only the accident, but with almost no scratches to my exposed body. No broken bones, a couple small bruises, and a mark from my seatbelt was all that was left on me after the impact. As I reflected in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, I didn’t know how I could be so lucky. To this day, I still can’t put my finger quite on it.

As my romper is being cut into shreds, heels are taken off my feet, doctors shining lights into my eyes, and of course the endless questions that come along with a patient that has just been through this trauma; millions of thoughts continued to go through my mind. I held back my tears that wanted to go streaming down my face, and instead focused on the good things that had graced me that day. I was okay, and that will always be the most important part of this. This means that my wonderful parents, my boyfriend, my siblings, and my family and friends would not have to deal with the burden of losing me. Suddenly, my mind began to wander even more. The most prominent thought continues to be, it really is true; your life can be taken from you at any moment.  The emotions came flooding in as they released me thirty minutes later. The ride home from the hospital, I reevaluated my entire life. This is the greatest way I can place my thoughts and apprehensions into words.

This life we  are  given is never promised to us.  Your life can be taken any day, and at any moment. Before my accident, there were countless family  members and friends that I didn’t have a close to perfect relationship with, due to the fact that people are quite frankly, not remembering this concept. I had stopped talking to one of my best friends, about a month prior. I didn’t have the greatest relationship with my parents, or even my siblings at that. After this, I realized that I would’ve had to live with that burden, and they would’ve had to as well. Do not hold stupid grudges, it is never worth it. Repair your relationships and friendships as much as you can. Always tell your loved ones how much you care about them, and your true genuine feelings. I cannot stress this enough. On the other hand, appreciate everything life has to offer you. After this day, I learned to appreciate the little things in life so much more. I had begun to realize all the things I have in life I should be grateful for. I have so many great people, things, and an amazing future to continue to work towards. I have reached for my goals even more, continued to write more, and broaden my horizons in every aspect. I have not only learned to live a whole new life, but also spread my teachings to others.

I now rise early every morning, smiling. I am smiling because I know I was given another chance to live life. I continue to surround myself with my loved ones, and I cherish the thought of getting to spend the rest of my life repairing, and blossoming different aspects of my life. I get to continue to listen to the beloved Taylor swift as I do my makeup, watch my favorite movies, eat my favorite foods, learn new things, travel more, and of course learn and grow in my own personal ways. They might sound like little things to you, but I am forever grateful for everything in life that as made me who and what I am. I got a chance to live a brand new life, and I will never let that go for the world.

16 things I learned in 16 years.

Sixteen. It’s been a beautiful, indescribable, and eventful year. On the other hand, it’s opened my eyes to the strenuous obstacles of growing older, and overcoming emotional and physical barriers  that I have faced, as well as many others. Seventeen will be right around the corner, and I will grow older. With growing older, comes harder decisions, and wiser choices in the path I decide to strive for. As for this, I am glad for the knowledge I obtained throughout this year of my life. Here is sixteen things, I learned at the age of sixteen.

People will come and go. 

At this prime of an age, people will always be in and out of your life. That boy that claimed to be in love with you, will move on to another  girl. Those friends that you made freshman year, may or may not still be by your side. But the most important part, is to accept that people will be this way your whole life. As we all move forward in life, we all have different goals and ambitions. New friends and relationships are right around the corner. Don’t get to caught up on things that may be temporary to begin with. Trust the magic of new beginnings.

Document everything that you can. 

As we all grow up living in this world of social media, it is very easy to have every single moment of our lives documented for the good and the ugly. I think documentation is such a amazing thing. One day to to look back and remember what certain days were like, the places you traveled to, and most importantly that people that you did those things with. So take pictures of everything and post that thought on your mind. One day looking back, you will see the growth you have accomplished throughout the years.

Travel as much as you can. 

This year, I got another chance to travel to California. But I think there is a much deeper meaning to traveling, then just seeing another place. You for once, get to have the weight of home lightened off your shoulders. I think for teenagers that is so important. We are all so focused on school, friends, work, and responsibilities. For once, it feels so relieving to take a break and get that burden off your shoulders for the most part. So travel as much as you can. See new sights, try new foods, take pictures, and make memories. Those things will all come with time, and I learned don’t always have to be rushed.


Don’t be afraid to be yourself. 

This year, I left public schools and decided to try online schooling. This taught me many things within itself. As we attend public school, most teenagers want to try and fit in with everybody as much as possible, it makes the experience a little bit easier, right? Of course, me being the person that I am, couldn’t do this. I learned so many things about myself this year socially, mentally, politically, etc. In the grand scheme of things, it won’t be worth it trying to fit in. Stand out. Be different. We all have that spark in us that wishes to fit in, but not fitting in is even more ravishing.


Test scores are not the end of the world. 

Going throughout high school, we are expected to have to preform well on all tests, assignments, and retain that information at the same time. But the honest truth is, sometimes we just can’t do that. We are humans, not robots. We all have off days. A bad test score does not reflect you has a person. Do not beat yourself up about it. We have plenty of time to fix our mistakes.

Change your style. 

This year was the first year I even touched hair dye, and it felt great. Of course I didn’t go for much of a change, but it’s a start. I realized my style always continues to change every year I grow, and I hope it always is that way. I think embracing change is something we all should learn to do.  So dye and cut your hair, change your style, try new makeup, and expand your horizons.


The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. 

This was a big lesson for me this year. As I was thrown back and forth between my fathers and mothers house, I have realized that staying put, was probably the best decision for me. If you’re anything like me, you don’t like to stay in one place for too long. In the end, I’m glad for the choices and decisions I acted on, because that brought me to right now. But the grass isn’t always greener, and situations may not work out the way you wish they did. I learned to always work out all issues, instead of continually running away from them.


Give yourself a break. 

This year I was plugging away at school, work, travel, and more while all trying to not have a mental breakdown. (Yes, constant work will do that to you). So just sit and breathe. Take one night to just relax and watch a movie, get deep into thought in a novel, or even a relaxing nap. At the age, it is constant going, and if you are as hard on yourself as I am, you know it’s hard to slip in breaks once in a while. I’m here to say it’s okay to do so. Give your mind and body a rest.


Try new foods. 

As you get older, you obviously have figured out what things you like, and don’t like. But this isn’t always true. (Imagining me, complaining about how much I don’t like sushi, and now it’s like my favorite food ) My point is, we are so quick to judge certain things, but we discover new things about ourselves every day. Broaden your horizons and you will be surprised on things you start to like as you get older.


A first job, isn’t going to be fun. At all. 

My first experience of work took place this year. Trust me, it’s not fun, but on the other hand it’s so enjoyable to make your own money. Also, it’s a huge experience. You get to see the the good, the bad and the ugly ( yes by the ugly I mean those costumers that find joy in spending their day yelling at 16 year olds) but in the end, I woundnt have it any other way. You have to start somewhere. P.S seventeen, bring me more job opportunities!


Mend all broken relationships. 

We are constantly spewing words out of our mouth as teenagers, and sometimes we don’t mean the things we say. Our hormones tend to be going insane half the time. Words, tend to alter our relationships with friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends etc. I learned this the hard way. I have loved and I’ve lost this year. But one thing I learned, is to recover all relationips we can. This could be our last day with a person. I learned to forgive and forget. Before I say things, I sit and contemplate how this will hurt the other person, and if what I’m saying was necessary or right. Sometimes sleeping on something before we react, stops us from saying something in the heat of the moment out of frustration and anger.


Stand up for what you believe in. I think this picture says it all. This was my first experience going to a protest. Let’s just say I was one of the youngest people I saw as I looked around,  and I was pretty proud of that. In all this hurt and division that we have faced as a whole this year, I have decided to do anything I can to contribute to this movement. I hope to inspire people to do the same thing. Do not go with the flow. You have every right to have a opinion in everything. Your opinion is valid, and is deserved to be heard. People like us, will change the world.

If something makes you happy, do it. 


This was one of the bravest things I did all year. I wanted it for myself, and it was very important to me. That is what my tattoo means as well, that anything in life I want, I will get it. I believe in myself. No, everybody won’t agree with the things you do, and trust me, I got crap for this tattoo. But in the end, if something makes you happy, then by all means do it. At the end of the day it’s yourself that you need to come to peace with, and if something contributes to that, I encourage it all the way.

Take yourself out of every situation that hurts you. 

Among the many encounters we have daily and relationships we mend as we get older, toxic places and relationships we have placed ourselfs in is a daily occurrence. As we get older, we discover the things that continually hurt us, and the things that don’t. Break the cycle. If you know something isn’t good for you, stop letting it hurt you or affect you. Protect yourself, and wait until it is okay to re enter the situation. Sometimes that day will never come, but we can all hope for positivity in all situations. This one goes hand in a hand with mending relationships, but in some cases, mending them may take time and patience.


Eat that burger. 
As teenagers, we tend to have trouble with circulating thoughts about self image, insecurities we think we have, insecurities we are told we have, and the constant thought of the way we should look and the way are content looking. I’m here to say that I am happy being 140 pounds, and happy with my weight. Being slim is okay, but being curvy is more than okay. We are taught that the girls in the magazines are airbrushed to perfection, do not carry any extra weight, and have long slim legs. But I never strived to look any other way then what I do now. So eat that burger, because beauty holds no number.

It’s okay to have a different plan. 
As we come to the conclusion that in 2 years we will officially be a adult, that comes many with many future decisions. We have to decide if college will be in the cards for us, what jobs we will uphold, what job we want for the rest of our lives after college, where we will stay in the meantime, and where are hearts long to be. As for me and all my friends, I have the craziest future plan. No it’s not what everybody does, no it’s not going to easy, but it’s possible. There is nothing in life that isn’t possible. So that “different” life plan that you decide to venture on, whatever that may be, will work out. I promise that it will.


The power of energy within us.

The moment I realized this easy, but vast concept, I was kind of in awe. The effect of collecting others energy  is something that will be surrounding you for the rest of your life. Understanding this, resolved everything for me. I found the root of the cause. The explanation of why my energy level was down in the dumps; for months. When I comprehended the reason, I started thinking very profoundly about this concept. We, as humans, pick up on contagious energy, which is not always the finest for us. Especially,  if it is affecting us negatively. What do I mean by this you ask? People give off energy. No matter if it sadness, happiness, or any other emotion. We seem to pick up on the energy that we border ourselves with daily. I started to realize this, when I started feeling drained. Drained physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I seemed to pick up on everybody’s else’s energy. This was draining me.  I was in a household, that was not very supportive to my views; and future lifestyle. Also, at a school that wasn’t  very accepting as well. I started picking up anger, resent, and sadness from the others around me. Because this energy surrounded me daily, and as humans we observe our surroundings, it can take a toll on our state of mind, body, and personal health. I never felt like I could catch up. I was always a step behind myself. Even though I felt self- assured in myself, who I was meant to be, and my future, my emotions seemed to skyrocket all over the place. When somebody is angry, we become angry. When somebody is sad, we automatically become said. When somebody is constantly happy, we always seem happy around them. Easy, right? Well then why do we choose to surround ourselves with beings that tend to bring the worst out of us?

That is when I made the change. The change that could change who you are, eternally. Surrounding yourself with people that bring the greatest out of you, and feed towards your energy. Not take it away. Somebody that is constantly sad, with themselves, or their life, is going to rub off on you. You will begin to see this transforming you. Into somebody sad. This can happen even when their situation has nothing to do with yours. I began to make the change of finding people that complemented my energy. Suddenly,  I felt a change in myself. I have found new support and love, that I feel daily now. There are many different types of people that will lower your energy, and here are just a few.

 

  • Somebody that is sad with their life, their body image, their money, or their looks, is somebody that you need to look out for. Yes of course, everybody gets down in the dumps on certain days, but if it is an ongoing constant struggle with this person, and they don’t receive help, you will soon start to feel the same exact way as them. You will start to pick up on this negative energy they are surrounding themselves with daily. You will soon start to feel down with these categories as well.

 

  • Somebody that constantly needs reassurance in their life, and mentally, physically, and emotionally drains us to receive that.
  • Somebody that constantly tells you, you are the problem in a friendship, relationship, etc.

 

  • Somebody that limits the way they think, believe, and interpret things in life, will begin to make you very close minded, and open to receiving negative energy.

 

  • Somebody that has continuous drama, and is always in search of it, will mentally drain you. Having a full plate, is very stressful. When you have somebody that needs to have it repeatedly, it will take its toll on you as well. When you let yourself be a part of this person’s life you won’t ever catch a break. Having constant drama is very dangerous for a person, and stress and anxiety will start to flourish from this. Surround yourself with people that don’t have a constant need to have something happen in their lives. Peace and happiness will find it’s way to you again.

 

  • Somebody that is always angry, for no apparent reason. This person could be a coworker, a friend, or maybe even a significant other to you. No matter the situation, you will feel anger as well. Verbal abuse, and physical abuse, are usually the sprouts of the type of anger. When you start to feel the same way as the person surrounding you  it will cause you to find a way to solve this. Usually  leading  you into fighting back with the same power. The only way to not pick up on this constant anger, is to of course leave the situation. Anger is something that is very easily transferred from one person to another. Soon enough, you will be an angry person, just like the people you are around. Our mental, physical, and emotional health should come before anybody’s else’s, and you should not let other people change it. Unless, of course, in a positive and uplifting way.
  • One that fears the future, doesn’t take risks, and is afraid of certain outcomes, may rub off on you.  

 

  • One that takes advantage of your love, your kindness, and your friendship.  

 

  • One that abuses drugs, alcohol, etc. To feel a certain way, and is convinced they can’t survive without having it. 

 

      *  One that is negative in general, is an issue waiting to happen. One that doesn’t support your way of life, your future, your beliefs, and your morals, can be a major issue. When we feel doubt in ourselves, it is usually because somebody else has told us we can’t do something, or we can’t be somebody. These types of people suck out our positive energy, and fill you with their negative. This may because you are vulnerable and they take advantage of you. Or maybe because you are easily manipulated. Either way, we start to pay attention, and soon enough, we start to no longer believe in our selves. All that we are and what we are made of. We must realize these people that are doing this to us. We need people around us to build our energy up, not tear it down. 

These are just some people  that are in our lives. When I looked through this list, there was several different people I thought of for each category. I don’t surround myself with those people anymore. I began to find  space within myself after all this negative energy from others was cleared out. Then, I became me again. The one that radiates positive energy as much as I can. The person inside me that looks to help, and inspire others. The side of me I want everybody to see. The people that we choose to be in our lives, is always going to affect us. Please look at this list, and take this tool into consideration. Surround yourself daily with people that bring you the positive emotions that make life beautiful, and you will see a change in you.

xoxo, Isabella

Waiting for the one, that may never be coming.

To the person waiting for a change. I have felt your pain as I’ve learned and grown older, and wiser. I wanted to spread light upon a topic that is extremely important to me.

Love.  At a young age, you watch as others around you procieve love. You watch all the fairytales and chick flicks, and believe that in the end, things will never go sour. As much as everybody wants to believe that things always will work out, they don’t.

As you grow up you go out into the world of dating (as I have been trying), you get your heart broken for the first time. There is nothing more hurtful in this entire world, than being told you were not what somebody wanted. That you did everything for this person but it never seemed to be enough. It’s not your fault. You are everything. If somebody is not thankful for your presence in their life, than they are not the ones you need to be wasting it on. Being enough should not be what you are looking to change. It is the standard you hold for yourself.

“If you miss somebody who does not miss you, or is no good for you, or is unattainable, take the love you love felt for them, and spread it in other places. Put your love in worthwhile people and things. Turn the romance into passions and hobbies or admirtantion for others- enrich your own life. Focus on yourself and those who actively make you happy”

-anonymous

Standards are so important for love. I fell into my own trap many times. Every time I received attention from somebody, I fell in. I didn’t know better but to believe what they were telling me. Chances are, they are doing the same exact thing to others. They are feeding you what you want to hear; even though, most of the time it’s not going to happen. I had to change my standards. I realized that I was being walked upon, because I was allowing it to happen. I was taking attention, from anybody that wanted to give it to me. So I changed that. YOU, need to change that. Wait for somebody better than that. One day you will come upon somebody that won’t give up on you. That isn’t feeding the same silly comments to everyone else. They will realize how amazing you are. The best things always take time to come. Stop hurting yourself in the process.

Also, in the mean time in waiting for this person, you need to love yourself first. The most important thing is knowing who you are and what you know you deserve. You are deserving of love, kindness, and care. Do not settle for anybody who won’t provide that for you. You do not need anybody who thinks of you as any less of what you think of yourself. You are deserving of somebody who wants to see you at your worst times. You are deserving of somebody who would stop at nothing, just to see you smile. Someone who would drop anything, to provide for you. Someone who enjoys and takes pride in the things you love. Somebody who would love you through anything. Do not settle for anything less, darling. There is a person out there waiting for you. Stop searching. At the right time, they will find their way to you.

Lastly, always remember that no matter what you will always be enough. These people that left you, never intended to stay. They did not deserve you. Love is never going to be a walk through a garden. Sometimes it’s that walk through the rain. It’s never going to be easy finding the people that deserve, and don’t deserve to be in your life. But you will figure it out along the way. You are going to get your heart broken many times. It’s reaching down and picking up the broken pieces with a smile. Realizing that you will find the one who will do it for you one day. Time and patience is the best key to a strong; healthy relationship. You deserve nothing but the best, love.

Do not settle for anything less.

“Do not chase another human being, instead chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something better then yourself, and instead of trying to convince somebody that you don’t fit into their world-build your own”

-b.s

How to be free.

As I am contemplating how to start my first blog post, I finally stumbled upon something I would like to shine light upon and share. Something that keeps me awake at night, and keeps me going during the day. The thought of being free. 

This is such a broad statement, but so interestingly remarkable to touch on. I want each and every one of you to finally release yourselves from the pain, and be free. it is yet such a easy thing to say, but not so much a easy thing to do. The world is a place where you despise what others think of you. Maybe  it is just ourselves that think of everything so negatively. You see, it is really ourselves that never allow us to be free. We are always so wrapped up about what others may think of us. In reality, maybe it is just us feeling this way towards ourselves. As they always say, we are our own worst enemy’s. That is why I want you to release yourself from this. I want you to finally be you. I want you to be free.

 

We are all shining in our own gorgeous light, yet at the same time we are afraid to step into it. We are afraid to show others who we really are. We are in such a search to be excepted, that we lose ourselves. I want you to never be afraid of who you are and what you believe in. I want you to always embrace your differences. You are meant to be you, -and nothing else. I want you to know that every single thing that you are, is remarkable, and sometimes it just takes believing in yourself for others to finally realize that. It will take time to reach this enlightenment, but I want you to start with today.

Next time you look in the mirror I want you to look at yourself like you are the most amazing thing in this world. This is because you are. You are free,and you are you. There is nobody in this world just like you and that is the most important thing. When you allow yourself to always be positive you will start seeing the world in that way too. But most importantly, it has to start with you. Accept who you are and embrace all that you are because you are the most astonishing thing that you can offer this world. I want you to know that being free is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Release yourself from the pain that you put yourself in, and finally believe in yourself. I believe in you too.

 

Style your hair the way you want it, wear whatever clothes you want, get tattoos. Travel to the most amazing places. Take risks. Make friends with all the people you see. Say the things that you want. Embrace your opinions about the world. Open your mind. Open your soul. Open yourself to the love you deserve. Give yourself the love that you deserve. Be you, and always remember to be free.