The Truth About My Heartbreak.

I can honestly admit I don’t even know where to start this post.

For days my thoughts have been flowing in and out of my never-ending, wandering mind. My heart has been over powered  with such love. But coinciding with this love; is grief. A chapter in my life has came to an ending point.

Luckily, I have used my heartbreak to inspire me in so many areas of my life.

Flash back to a week ago. I thought the day I rose from my well-rested night, that it would just be like any other day. I was ignoring all of the signs I was receiving from you, quite frankly, from the beginning of our relationship. You made me believe that you loved me. 

I should of listened to all the other surrounding voices invading my mind, telling me that you were toxic for me. I didn’t want to believe the true signs that you gave me constantly. As they all say; love is blind.  From the start you took advantage of my love. I forgave you for any and every mistake that you made. After all, that is what love is about right? I stayed with you through anything. I was inevitably infatuated with your every move. I craved your presence in every aspect of my entire life. But in the midst of all the outrage, we did share happy moments.

I adored you. The way that I looked at you was different. Everybody could see it. They were all terrified. They knew that soon the two simple words spewing from your mouth time and time again, would break me into a million pieces. Oh if I only knew the words “It’s over”, felt like a million daggers deranged into my chest, I would’ve ran from the start. You were inescapable.

It was as if I was underneath your spell. I wanted to believe that you would not take advantage of my love. But it turns out you are no different then the last guy. The one that left me in the same exact way. If I could’ve only of seen the writing on the wall. If I could’ve seen the mess you left me. The truth of it all is, I still would’ve risked the pain to admire the great memories we created together.

All of the dates we spent admiring each others acquaintance. The laughs intertwined in our deep conversions about the universe, politics, and religion. The love we shared was undeniable. We shared a deeper connection than what the average person finds at this young of an age. You put up with my favorite movies, constant Taylor Swift album marathons, and my crazy obsession with glitter. The list goes on and on, but I wont bore you any more than what I already have. Moral of the story is, we had something. Something that will be engraved into my mind until the end of time. You left an impression on me that will never be forgotten.

Flash through eight months, and here I am writing you this post. I honestly think it will help me move on from this terrible rut I have been enduring. I am ready to move on from this stage in my life. I knew a different version of you and it wasn’t the one you are now. Its hard to believe that same person would’ve left me with no remorse. You watched me sob and you had the nerve to just say, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel anything anymore.” I begged and pleaded for you to stay. But I’m smarter than that. The right person won’t have to even question being with me.

So, thank you. Thank you for breaking me into a million pieces. It has helped me figured out the signs to watch out for. It also will strengthen my future relationships. Thank you for showing me what my true worth is, because trust me, I deserved more than the person you really were. I deserve the world. I wish you the best with your life and I hope and pray that someday down the road, we can meet as strangers once again. I hope that we both accomplish our hopes and dreams. But most importantly, I hope you find the person who you’re meant to be with. As I hope the same for myself.

I hope that you got exactly what you wanted out of me. I will no longer be used as just somebody sitting on your back burner. I deserve much more than that. On the other hand, I wish you all the best and through out this mess, I still love you more than words can express.

You will forever hold a special place in my heart, mind, and soul. 

43 thoughts on “The Truth About My Heartbreak.

  1. So sorry to hear this but you are right. Heartbreak is something we all experience at one point or another and it does help shape you. Stay strong, you can and will get through this x

    whatabigailsays.wordpress.com

  2. I relate to this 99.99%. Like legit. And I always used to have a question, as for how can people just stop feeling for the other? how can they just turn around and be like it’s over. How can you let go off something so beautiful so easily? Well, I still don’t know the answer to all that but one thing that I have learnt is, nothing is permanent. I am sorry for those million piercing feelings but I am happy you are ready to move on and are more mature. I am happy for you 🙂

  3. Everything you’ve written resonates with me so much- I was in this place over a year ago. Trust me, it gets so much better. But you know what the great thing is? You may have a million piercing feelings and are hurting right now- but you’re already saying you know your worth. You know what you deserve and that wasn’t it. You’re already a huge step ahead in where I was- because I didn’t know or feel any of that- all I could feel was broken. Keep on keeping on- you’re going to find someone who deserves the wonderful person you are- and how you’re feeling now will just be a distant and unpleasant memory, but one that won’t hurt anymore.

  4. Beautifully expressed. I feel you. You deserve more because you have a beautiful soul. You know what happened to my heartbreaker? He ended up with someone lesser than me. I saw him three decades later.

    1. That’s the way it usually works. My “soulmate” already moved on to the next girl on his list. Sad really. I hope one day I find the man I deserve. One who loves me for me.

      1. True! Oh you will find you will find him. You must pray for that right guy for you. I ended up with someone who loves me for what I am and a good provider. My friends said I am very lucky to have him 😉

  5. I can totally relate to this post! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. Please keep the positive memories of the relationship in your heart, and use the memory of the negatives to move forward. Your approach is spot on…forgive and move forward with love. Wishing you the best!

  6. I’m feeling this same way. Day after day, you cope better but they feel interwoven into parts of you that will never come clean. It’s a lesson and a blessing. Yes, a love that seems like it’ll never be reciprocated but also a grief that can’t be silenced. It’s a moment at a time. It’s the human element and we are doing wonderfully to write, to grow, to be honest with ourselves, and not give up on ourselves. I felt/feel each line. Truth is we’re going to be okay. Big hugs and love to you.

  7. The blessing in disguise is you are learning a hard lesson young and because of this you, this beautiful ever growing and evolving woman open yourself up to a greater world with a new vision of what you need. While heartache and endings are never fun and I’m sorry your going though this your words found strong and I feel safe in saying great things will be coming your way.

    1. Thank you so much! This was definitely one of the worst experiences.. of my life. I am still struggling weeks later. I don’t know if I will ever be fully cleansed of what happened. But I thank you so much for reading my work, it means so much. Great things are coming your way as well <3

  8. This is beyond relatable. I went through 6 years where he broke up with me and I took him back just when I’d picked myself off the floor. And now he’s done it again. But I can never turn off that love for him. We even spoke of is getting married and having children. My heart is shattered.

  9. I’m so glad I came across your blog! I relate to it so much. I’ve also wrote a blog about my heartbreak but you’ve been able to put it into far better words than me. For me, heartbreak seems like it’s something that’s become trivialised because everyone experiences it at some point in their life. But it’s not something that should be trivialised, because for me, heartbreak felt like death but you’re forced to keep living. It almost broke me but I’m getting better, and I hope you are too! Take care! x

    1. Yes, it very much can feel like death. But we have no other choice but to adapt and become comfortable once again with what our life consists of without them. You will do fine! And I hope you have amazing endeavors with or without he/she ❤️ you deserve to be happy either way.

  10. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. I completely relate to how you feel, though. When the right one comes along though, it’ll be hard to mess the right thing up!

  11. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. I completely relate to how you feel, though. When the right one comes along though, it’ll be hard to mess the right thing up!

  12. I just started this blog thing like 2 days ago. so reading this kind of blog inspired me. That maybe in the future I can write confidently what you said in this blog. I really want to let it all out. I just recently experienced my first ever heartbreak and this helps a lot. 🙂

  13. In relationships it is not always easy. That’s why it better to pray about every beginning of something. The heart can easily fall in love, but when it is one side it is not easy.

    It is also good to see the good side after any mistake, for they are stepping stones to our breakthrough. We have many ways of learning. Sometimes experiences are the best teachers. May God strength you and lead you for the future

  14. I believe we’ve all been there, or will be at some point in time in our life. This post has reminded me of a place I never want to be again, but who knows if I might. It’s really hard when we think we know someone, to go with what our inner spirit is telling us. I too, have used negative occurrences to show me the way to putting feelings into what I write. Good and bad, our emotions are our own muse. Thank you for this piece. It’s a reminder of why we write and the influences on what we write.

    1. You speak the truth ❤️ and you’re welcome, it helps me just as much to write about my experiences.

  15. This is exactly what I am going through right now. However I am so so so angry that I can’t wish him all the best. I just wish that he will deeply regret it.

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