After the many vast obstacles that women have faced throughout the years, I have abruptly decided to speak on the behalf of myself and others. As I have matured and blossomed as a woman I have discovered daily predicaments in the world today. For as long as I could remember, women have been fighting for: political, sexual, economic, and personal equality to men. I, along with many other women, do not feel as if this situation is fair by any means, At only sixteen, there is so much sexual worriment that I face as I begin my journey as an adult.
I would like to reach the point where I can venture into any situation, in an outfit I feel gorgeous in, and not feel like I am being looked at like a sexual object. I would like to walk home from a bar late at night and not be frightened to encounter a man or another woman who will take advantage of me because I am vulnerable. I would like to feel comfortable on a college campus. I do not want to be constantly worried that I will be drugged, or worst of all; raped. I would like to let loose and not let these things become bothersome to me. On the other hand, I feel like I am constantly letting my mind wander to every single possibility.
I would like to have friends of the opposite sex, who will not pressure me to engage in sexual activities with them. If I clearly didn’t ask for it, I don’t want to be informed that I was. I wish that all of these movements could be easily resolved. But, the more I sit and contemplate, I have realized that these problems will always be apparent. The more I try and avoid these situations from occurring the more they appear in the times you would never see them advancing . The precautions cannot be taken correctly, because it’s in times where we shouldn’t feel the way that we do.
The more I try and remember specific instances, the blurrier these instances become. We almost force ourselves to forget that things like this continue to occur in daily life.
The first incident occurred at fifteen. I remember I was with a guy whom I felt I very much admired by, but there were times I clearly did not asked to be touched and showered with kisses. Being an adolescent, I didn’t exactly know how to feel when I was being pinned down and forced to make out with my significant other. I faintly remember myself repeating the word “no”, but with some people, that word doesn’t hold any significance. I can recall that same scenario repeating itself more than 3 times. After this person and I ended it completely with one another, he continued to touch me. He would grab my butt while everyone else was watching. I was embarrassed, I was frightened. He would treat this like it was some game. He would laugh with his other guy friends. not even putting into consideration the constant violation I felt every time he did this. At countless get togethers with other friends, he would run his fingers up my legs, until he reached areas that shouldn’t be crossed. He would see how far I would let him get. I would push him off of me, only for him to come back and do it again. I didn’t ask to be touched. I didn’t ask to be kissed, even if was with him at the time. I didn’t ask to be grasped. Yet, he continued to think it was a test. To see how far he could get until I told him to stop.
Little did he know, I cried myself to sleep every time this happened. I felt like I was treated like an object, and not like the prized possession that I was. I am a woman, I am not an object. I am confident, I am beautiful, and I am important. My body is mine, and my boundaries should not be crossed without consent. Why did my claim over my body, not mean anything?
I am now almost seventeen. I have been in two abusive relationships. I still have other obstacles that I’ve faced daily as a woman. On multiple occasions, I have been whistled at, belittled, mocked for wearing certain revealing things, and more. I have also struggled to sustain relationships with significant others because of our differences. I push to be accepted for all of me. When most of the time, I am treated as if there is no brain connected to my glorious body. I strive to become my true self daily, and to not these situations affect the way I think, feel, and react. I know deep down, 2 years later, that I am more than the predicaments that I have been in.
I hope for the day that I can be seen as more than just a body, who makes decisions regarding so.
I am still continuing to expand my horizons as a female daily. Each and every day I feel even more confident in myself than before. I will never let the whistling of men define me. I will not let my past instances define my standards. I, will not let the sexualized standards of society tell me what I can and cannot wear. I am young and radiant. I have the right to wear whatever I feel comfortable in and I hope I can inspire you to do the same. I will continue to roam free in this universe feeling safe. I will go out at night and fearlessly walk home alone.
As women, we cannot let our past scare us, as well as future situations that we are trying to avoid. We deserve to feel gorgeous and safe in our skin every single day. Do not be oppressed. Speak out and be brave for all of the women around the world who are dealing with the same exact instances as you.