There comes a day where you decide to slowly move on. You let the people of the past whom you’ve loved, reconcile in your dreams. They slowly disappear from your life, leaving you with not a single soul but yourself. You soon venture out into the universe, in search of somebody that makes your life light up the way you have never discovered before.
This timeline for me, was months upon months. I was in desperate of somebody to pay me the love I thought I deserved. Of course as stubborn as I come off, that person never seemed to appear in the moments that I was most desperate. I was in need of somebody that would explore my soul, not my body. I wanted to be loved. Truly, loved. I wanted somebody that found the night sky in my eyes. Somebody that would take their personal time, to figure out my quirks that make up me as a person. Somebody to discuss my abstract thoughts as I lay awake at 3 a.m. I craved somebody that was adventurous, and would coincide with me across the world if I had asked.
The higher your standards become the harder it becomes to fill the deep void in your heart as the thought of it still lingers. The longer I waited, the longer I realized the person that I was seeking out to find; would take time and patience.
The person whom you are seeking will come with time. I know, because I found that person.
You will find the one who will stay up until 3 a.m, just to make sure your smile is not lost within your dismantled thoughts and wonders. You will start to realize that upon the arrival of your significant other was the time that you took to fix your bullet wounds that were shot into your heart. This is not done by any lover, but within your own mind, body, and soul.
This person wont have to fix you, but instead complement your beautiful mess of a human being. They will accept your flaws and love you for the personality and exterior traits that make up the most gorgeous version of yourself. You will start to see that all of the built up mistakes of your past that lead you straight down your path, happened in such delicate way so they could find you at the right time. They would drive hours to just bring that sparkle into your eyes that could light up the night sky.
They will learn that you only drink your coffee with two creamers and two sugars. They will adorably sing all of your cherished favorite songs. They will take all of your flaws into consideration. Trust me, they will put them all aside just to be with you. Suddenly, all of the movies you spent watching alone, will be joined with somebody who cares deeply about the things that makes you happy. They will cherish everything that makes you the person you are.
This person only comes once in a lifetime. Don’t lose them. You see, many people face the consequence of starting over with love many different times in their life. But, this one wont be like any other person you have ever encountered. They will grace your life with such a presence that it will send the flames in your heart racing; as they fix up all the bullet wounds that destroyed your former self.
That’s what he did for me.
The storms that surpassed me in memories, were now beautiful turquoise sky’s. I didn’t hurt anymore. The roses that embellished my heart and soul, dead and diminished; were now the most gorgeous garden I have ever seen. Bright and alluring, surrounding every aspect in my life. He gave me life again. A life that I want to live forever.
Now, I want to cherish every passing second with him. Even though we live completely separate lives, with different realities, we have found time to collide within our passing hours. I find myself getting lost every time we are together. Lost in the thought of what we are. Lost in the thought, of what we will be.
Will we always be together?
Only time can tell. But, I wouldn’t want it to be any other way than discovering life with him.
You see, I have never enjoyed somebody’s company so much. We talk as if we haven’t run out of subjects. He makes me laugh. He makes me forget about every wondering thought that keeps me up in the dark hours of the night. We now share coffee every Saturday and ponder about deep thoughts: our thoughts on politics, religion, and much, more. The more I picked apart his brain, the more I realized he was one of a kind.
Even the most innocent activities, have a special importance to them. Our souls matched up as if they were made to collide at the exact moment that did. The moment we both needed each other the most. I never want this feeling to end. A void in my heart is filled with such love, a love that is real. I will continue to get lost in the galaxies I found in his eyes.
I will, because he completes me.